Tag Archives: martinis

New Year’s Day

1 Jan

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I firmly believe that an International Woman of Mystery should live with no regrets. That said, I found myself a bit remorseful for my last night’s postings. Apologies, dear reader.

It had been a long week full of domestic travel and family dramatics. My objective for NYE was merely to spend a quiet evening watching a movie, decompressing and toasting the New Year, solo. How it devolved from there is still being investigated by yours truly.

The last thing I can really recall is taking to my balcony, martini in hand and shouting for all to hear: “The International Woman of Mystery is alive and she lives in Denver, Colorado!”

For what it’s worth, a cheer arose in response from another balcony. Fireworks erupted in the distance. I then (I believe) stumbled back into my apartment and promptly passed out on my couch.

This morning I awoke to a roaring headache and an atrociously messy kitchen. Once upon a time, the old Jennifer might have used her hangover as an excuse to feel sorry for herself and go back to bed. Alas, Jenny G. is determined not to let her missteps linger into 2016. I’ve done a bit of debriefing with myself and decided that perhaps this will be the year I learn from my mistakes.

Mistake #1 was poor movie choice. I’ve got better things to do than watch moony chick flicks, no matter how high caliber the travel porn. Back to the inspiration drawing board. Eat, Pray, Love your heart out, indeed.

Mistake #2 was the gin. And the vodka. And the vermouth. All told, I believe I imbibed six different versions of the martini. Though, I do know my preference now. Gin. Stirred. Light on the vermouth. No olive. To be enjoyed responsibly from here on out. The International Woman of Mystery will not be sloppy. Anymore.

All things considered, I feel something resembling genuine excitement for the New Year. Focused on the future. Ready for action and whatever new adventures I may find in this fair city. Ready to take my transformation to the next level. Ready to make 2016 count.

Happy New Year, comrades. The International Woman of Mystery is alive, and she lives in Denver, Colorado.

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New Year’s Eve

31 Dec

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Happy New Year, Dear Internet!

Tis I! Jenny G.: International Woman of Mystery. Broadcasting to you live because I am …drunk?!

So anyway! It all started out innocently enough. Alone in a new city. Without a without a date! Well! An International Woman of Mystery doesn’t REQUIRE a date! Turns out, she can have plenty of fun all by her lonesome. She doesn’t even need a suitor to plant a kiss on her lips at midnight. Unnecessary!

But! I needed to uphold some traditions. I went to the liquore store for a few provisions. I had meant to only get a couple of those mini bottles of champagne when inspiration struck! Would the International Woman of Mystery really sip champagne. I askedmyself? I think not. It was time to start perfecting my martini. The sooner I conquer that, the sooner I can move on to my own signature cocktail.

There once was a simple champagne run. But it became an elaborate gin, vermouth,… vodka (in case I find I like them dirty), green olives and a cocktail shaker set. That type of excursion. I got home just in time to see the sun go down from my balcony. A lucky break.

AND NOW? I’m watching Eat, Pray, Love.

This movie is so stupid. I’m sorry, but it is. I happened to glimpse it on Redbox the other day and thought it might be good inspiration for this blog. So when I selected it to be this evening’s entertainment, I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but it was, which means it’s meant to be!

So anyway. The movie is stupid because in the end, she just ends up with one stupid guy after another. The International Woman of Mystery would never settle for such an ending! It is hardly mysterious or international. Okay it’s kind of international but whatever! She spends most of the movie being such a victim and feeling sorry for herself. Oh did I mention she does this all while getting paid to travel the world and write for a living? I know! So hard!

The ridiculousness of the movie drove me back to my original mission: Martini. The first batch had too much vermouth but I couldn’t waste it! I would train my pallet for the future! I drank the first batch. The second rendering was closer but still missing something. I drank it and made another. AND SO ON.

So anyway, I’m watching this movie and I think that I could do this so much better. I already am doing it so much better! The International Woman of Mystery doesn’t need a fancy publishing advance or a man or a trip to Italy to find herself. The International Woman of Mystery doesn’t need Julia Roberts to play her in the movie version. The International Woman of Mystery buys her own drinks.

The International Woman of Mystery says: eat, pray love your heart out!

It’s almost midnight and I am intoxicated and alone, but I have more martinis and all around me I can hear people celebrating the New Year. Mark my words that this year will be the year of the IWOM! (I’ve got an acronym, which is more than Julie Roberts can say!) I shall now toast in 2016 from my balcony, so I am signing off!

CIAO! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

-Jenny G.