Tag Archives: spontaneous

Living On A Whim: Part Two

19 Jan

Whim

I rolled over in a groggy haze. There was a figure in the corner, dressed only to the waist. I pulled the comforter up over my shoulders, and buried my head in the pillow. The figure spoke.

“Hey Jennifer.”

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Living On A Whim: Part One

17 Jan

Vail2

It appeared that I was in a European village. The brick streets wound through narrow passages, and wooden balconies hugged the condos above. A Swiss flag waved in the distance. Ski shops abounded, and there was a clog shop over there. White lights hung over an ice rink. It was almost international.

But I wasn’t in Europe. I was in Vail, just 100 miles from Denver. I was here on a whim, a practice in spontaneity.

You might ask why I need to practice living spontaneously. I am, after all, the girl who fled 2,000 miles in the middle of the night to a city she’d never been to.

That was the first time in my life I ever acted so boldly.

Until that night, I couldn’t make any decisions on a moment’s notice. I felt paralyzed unless I had time to ponder every decision, carefully weighing every implication of every action. I planned and planned and planned, and left nothing to chance.

In retrospect, I see how much I pondered myself out of doing anything fun, mostly because I was too afraid – too afraid to trust that things would work out. Too afraid to simply let go. There were tangible fears too, like my fear of heights, and I was too uncomfortable with that fear to ride it out.

When Mr. Poison dumped me, something snapped. Some long buried instinct rose to the surface and took over. I didn’t think of consequences. It was exhilarating. Once I felt that, I knew I wanted to feel it again, and I’ve been searching for it ever since.

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Ten Things I Want to Be

5 Jan

Claudette-Colbert-as-Cleopatra-classic-movies-4147584-1024-768

A few months have elapsed since I first began my transformation from everyday Jennifer into Jenny G.: International Woman of Mystery. I’ve acquired most of the items from my initial list of mystery must-haves. Experienced relative success in creating the proper aesthetic. The foundations have been laid. But this is only the beginning. There is still more work to do.

I’ve brainstormed a bit and have begun to identify the traits I most identify with The International Woman of Mystery. Phase Two entails the refinement of said traits. Starting now.

1. Fearless: A work in progress, to be sure. As previously stated, conquering fear is sort of like eating the elephant. One bite at a time. Having successfully completed my first few missions, I feel hungry for more adventure. I vow to seek out more opportunities that test my prowess and challenge my deepest fears.

2. Elusive: Any good International Woman of Mystery will be adept in the art of, well, mysteriousness. I aspire to be a master of disguise as much as a figure of intrigue. Adopting an alias has been a good start, but now I must become more advanced in my ability to roam the streets of Denver (and The World) undetected. Jenny G. will keep the people guessing.

3. Resourceful: One can never have too many skills, but as a woman of the world, this is especially important. Wherever and whenever possible, I make it my mission to always cultivate new methods for survival and new abilities to add to my repertoire.

4. Strong: Self-explanatory. The International Woman of Mystery must possess prowess on a physical level as much as a mental one. Always ready for battle. I will work on my stamina, my acuity and my overall ability to kick some ass.

5. Zen: As I’ve already discovered through my adventures (and misadventures), it can be tough out there for a woman of the world. The International Woman of Mystery must be transcendent. I will learn to find an inner calm that allows her to stay centered and focused even while kicking ass.

6. Independent: James Bond didn’t become a super agent by relying on others, and neither will Jenny G. I’ve already taken some respectable steps toward claiming my independence, but I must always be mindful not to lose ground in this arena. Gone are the days of relying on a man, my parents or my feminine wiles to save me. It’s time to stand on my own two feet. No exceptions. No excuses.

7. Benevolent: Ass-kicking and international espionage are all well and good, but it seems important not to lose heart. This International Woman of Mystery will find ways to give back and maybe even inspire others with her kindness and generosity.

8. Spontaneous: All these other skills are virtually a waste if I’m not out living the dream. Jenny G. must be ever ready for adventure. Even at a moment’s notice. I’ve never been particularly good at going with the flow. This coming year, I will embrace the impromptu. I will work on following my heart more than my day planner.

9. Stylish: I’ve done some work already toward looking the part, but I don’t just mean the superficial aspects of my new identity. In addition to assembling a classier wardrobe, Jenny G. will strive to exude sophistication on all levels.

10. Confident: There is no such thing as an ill-confident International Woman of Mystery. In this life, my self-assurance is likely to be tested. I will learn to trust in my own ability and stand up to adversity. I can do this. I will do this.

Ciao,
Jenny G.